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I'm not okay My head hurts My heart is pacing When I lay down my head I hear thumping My eyes are full My face is sticky with tears My pillow is wet My hands are tired Every time I look at my phone I get angry I am no longer happy My days of getting up and showering and being a real person are cut short I don't want to draw I don't want to play a song I want to curl under my sheets and see how long it takes me before I have to drag myself to the kitchen to drink water I'm only tired from crying I only sleep to forget My months of unfiltered joy and love are gone and Ive no choice but to sit back and watch what I enjoyed fall before